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Bob’s Journal Entry – 06/18/2019

Some mornings I’ll journal and today was one of them. When my journals connect to The Hokey Pokey Book, I’ll share them here.


Amazing time after the Rocketman movie last night with Josh. We talked in my car for well over an hour. It was a good thing I asked him what he thought about the movie first, because I had a rather negative perspective of it – garish, unsympathetic, and music so out-of-kilter for the timeline that it made Bohemian Rhapsody look like the perfect documentary. Basically Elton looked like a petulant, whiny brat who had very one-dimensional parents who didn’t love him so he was… saaaaaaaaad. The attempt at redemption at the end was totally unconvincing, though the facts of it were certainly noble. It was just impossible to feel anything for him.

But that’s not what Josh saw. And THAT is the important thing. So by listening first (for a change), I entered into his perspective, saw the validity of it, encouraged it, and it led to a fascinating conversation about moving forward… for both of us.

I blurted out a few things that I received “in the moment”:

  • Your past either controls you, or it informs you – your choice.

  • You already may… (you have permission, no one is stopping you)
    You know you can… (you are aware of your abilities and resources)
    But will you? (it’s a question of you consciously choosing)

That last bit was a callback to all the times when Josh, as a little boy, asked “Daddy, can you pass the potatoes?” to which I’d reply, “Yes, I CAN…”

But when I didn’t pass the potatoes, he asked, “Daddy, may you pass the potatoes?” to which I’d reply, “Yes, I MAY…”.

Exasperated at this point by me trying to teach him a grammar lesson, he once finally asked, “Daddy – may will can you pass me the potatoes?” at which point I had no choice but to send the potatoes over.

May. Can. Will.

He gets it now.

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